When Your Ex Boyriend Needs Space From You

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Perhaps we have been conditioned to think that giving our partner space is the appropriate way to act? We went on 7 dates over 8 weeks, and he was always romantic and generous on these dates ie. He needs space and so do you!

With time, issues may occur in any relationship. Does This Make Sense To You? I went with him to meet and meet his mom and dad and sons and see his home village.

What he really means when he says 'I need space'

Immediately, your mind goes into overdrive: what have I done wrong? Is he having an affair? Some women panic when they hear that dreaded three-word phrase, and assume their relationship is finished, while others play everything down and try to smooth over the problem. Both strategies are wrong. The first makes a difficult situation worse and the second risks ignoring any early warning signs of problems that need to be tackled. However, there is good news. In the first flush of love or the high of having a new baby, it is easy to put aside personal needs to make our partner happy or for the greater good of the relationship. HOW TO DEAL WITH IT Rather than justifying or defending your vision of how best to spend the weekend, imagine, for a moment, that when your partner complains that he has too little time for himself, every word he says is true. Are you in charge of great chunks of your home life together? Does he have a point about losing his sense of identity? Instead of defending the status quo, experiment with allowing him more time to pursue his hobby or go on weekends away with his mates. RISK RATING Low and easy to deal with. He walks out in the middle of a row or threatens to leave but backs down a couple of hours later. In the first, both partners fight like cat and dog — often about small things sometimes even about the way they argue. In the second, the woman is permanently angry — often because she feels ignored or not listened to — and her partner is tiptoeing round the argument. Although the man might be hoping to avoid a scene, it just makes his partner angrier. In both scenarios, nothing is resolved and everybody gets more frustrated. If you tend to be the angry one, your partner is simply exhausted from all the arguing, or avoiding arguments, and believes that withdrawing and switching off is his only way of coping. If the rows have been going on for a long time, he might have closed down and refused to argue, stormed out of the house or threatened to leave. HOW TO DEAL WITH IT The regular way of solving problems is to pinpoint what has gone wrong and seek a solution. However, when endless arguments have eroded all goodwill between you, this just encourages blame or fault-finding — and sparks off another round of rows. Instead, try the opposite approach and focus on what is working. Tell each other stories about good times from the past together, as this will help you identify your successes and how to build on them. If either of you says something negative, write it down to be discussed later, but stick with being positive. Put in as much detail as possible — for example, about the holidays you want to take together or other joint projects. Finally, discuss how you can turn your dreams into a reality. RISK RATING Only mildly dangerous, as long as you learn to listen to each other and argue constructively. He stays out until 3am without calling, or buys expensive guy stuff but hardly uses it. WHAT IT MEANS Men expect to solve their problems on their own. So instead of asking for help when the stress gets too much, they pretend everything is OK and work harder, drink more and get more depressed — until they suddenly announce that they need space. Losing a parent reminds us that we are not immortal and makes us question everything in our lives. He is probably already acting irrationally — wildly excited about a new project but quickly dropping it, or getting moody for no obvious reason. So discuss ways that you could relieve some of the financial stress — for example, by offering to work more hours yourself, cutting back on bills or even downsizing. If you help him to dream about other futures, you will become part of the team through a difficult time, rather than an adversary stopping him from moving forward. RISK RATING Extremely difficult if you fail to spot the danger and your relationship drifts, but manageable if handled quickly and cleverly. Suddenly, he has new interests, spouts views that could belong to someone else or spends a lot of time getting ready for work. Online friends are particularly worrying — because people are quicker to trade secrets and fantasies in a virtual relationship, and it is easier for your man to kid himself that a sexy text is not really cheating. Fortunately, if he is asking you for space, he is unlikely to have begun a full-blown affair as the unfaithful unilaterally grab their space by sleeping with someone else. In this case, wanting space can be his way of keeping his options open. Normally, if you act quickly enough, you can discover what is making him unhappy, stop taking each other for granted and rebuild a more fulfilling relationship. RISK RATING Act straight away or your relationship could be fatally damaged. DE-STRESS YOURSELF We imagine that anger is better out than in, but sometimes this just pumps up our feelings and makes things worse. So be physically intimate and enjoy giving each other back rubs and massages without it leading to intercourse. Andrew G Marshall is the author of How Can I Ever Trust You Again? Infidelity from Discovery to Recovery in Seven Steps Bloomsbury, £12. To order a copy for £10.

This post is extremely helpful. He also knows i am here for him and i encourage him and praise him with i piece you. To avoid these fatal mistakes, you need proven steps to get your ex boyfriend back and keep him. We went from talking everyday and texting multiple times daily to nothing. Three days back, out of the blue, he said he wants to be single for a few jesus, no relationship and all, he wants to concentrate on his career and get some stability in his life. Same level as NFL NHL.